Nepal_the extreme wedding and whitewater rafting weekend

This past weekend, I felt like I was in a National Geographic documentary for a very remote area of the world.  I could never have imagined the differences between a Canadian wedding and a traditional Nepalese wedding.

Raj's family, wife Anita, daughter Princess, and son Prince

Thursday morning, Clare, a travel friend from the UK, Raj, the guesthouse manager and myself, set off to attend the “double” wedding weekend of his wife’s younger brothers, Rajan and Sujan. We really didn’t know what we were getting into until the weekend unfolded. Raj’s wife, Anita and their two children (daughter 7 year old Princess, and son 5 month old Prince) travelled from Kathmandu and would meet us in the tiny village of Fujel, where Anita grew up. We boarded our first bus shortly after 9:00am, and traveled about 3.5 hours (90kms) to get to Benighat. I should mention that we were the only two foreigners on both bus rides…so we knew weren’t headed to a tourist destination. How people survive these bus rides without gravol and a chiropractor at the end are beyond me.

The "white rocket" $2.00 to ride for 3 hours...mind you we only travelled about 60kms.

 We made it to our first drop off place by 12:30pm and then crossed the river on a suspension bridge and hiked about a kilometer to get to Benighat. We had just missed the connecting bus and found out the next one wouldn’t leave until 3:00pm. We purchased our tickets and “saved” seats on the “white rocket” that were closer to the front. The further back you sit, the more you feel the bumps. Then we set off to find a restaurant…..We soon found out there was nothing here, but Raj, Mr. customer service, found a lady in the village who was kind enough to  cook us Dal Bhat.

Clare and I eating dal bhat in Benighat

Our sleeping quarters in Fugel

This is the traditional meal that Nepalese people live on. It consists of a huge plate of rice and a soup that is made with lentils and vegetables. They eat it twice a day, and do not use cutlery. They eat with their right hand. There is a technique to eating it…. they form a ball with the rice and sauce with their fingers and then put it in their mouth. Clare ate like the natives all weekend. I just couldn’t go there….mostly because the opportunities to properly wash your hands were few and far between, (I won’t discuss bathroom facilities right now)…. I requested a spoon.  Anyway... the food sustained us and we were ready to continue our journey. At 3:05pm, after the driver jammed as many people as possible into and on top of the bus…we were off like a herd of turtles. No more bad pavement…now we were on a narrow red clay semblance of a road. It was a nerve wracking ride as there were times we were along the edge of a huge drop off and we continued to climb onward and upward. It seemed that if the weight on the bus shifted we’d topple down the mountain side. I thought we were full when we started, but every time someone along the road flagged the bus, the driver stopped and space was somehow found inside or on top. For part of the journey I had a child on my lap. The mother, who climbed into the full bus, threw her child onto my lap when we lurched to a start. It seemed like the safest place to for him to be, so with my gesturing that it was ok, he fell asleep on me and stayed there for over an hour until a seat open up for mom.

Destination Fujel

Three hours later, the bus brakes squealed to a halt. We were at the end of the road and had arrived in Fujel.  We were met by practically the entire village and escorted down to Raj’s in-laws home, where we were introduced to Anita, the two grooms and her parents. Then we were escorted to a neighbor’s home and settled into the sparse room that Clare and I would share for the weekend.  It was very basic with two single beds, a dirt floor, and newspaper for wallpaper. We had electricity, but there was no running water or showers in the village. Any water used was hauled from a tap up the road from the village. We quickly adjusted to washing with “wet ones” for the weekend. After settling in we returned to Anita’s yard where the festivities were underway.

Wedding Jagya prepared by family

Appetizers on the first evening

Wedding Day 1 evening: Live music was provided by drummers, singers and men holding crazy long horns called Narsinghas, but took turns making up new verses. We started with “Nepalese appetizers”, roti bread with little sugary, ginger balls, and then the main course of Dal Bhat was served. We were indeed the highlight of the wedding (the 2 white foreign giants). Everyone seemed to be thrilled to have us and they seemed to think our presence was auspicious. Everyone was curious to learn our names and where we were from. That was the extent of most people’s English, but there were a few guests from Kathmandu who could chat with us a little more. It was a beautiful evening, as there was a full moon (how wedding dates are planned in Nepal), and a very celebratory atmosphere. Clare and I went to bed around midnight, but the party and music continued all night. When we left for bed it was obvious that a few of the men had gotten into the homebrew. We were told that the focus of tomorrow would be on Rajan, Anita’s oldest brother. His was an arranged marriage and it is the Nepalese custom that the oldest brother marries first. Sujan, the younger brother’s marriage was a “love” marriage. He and his wife had already had some kind of ceremony in Kathmandu, so there would be a less officious welcoming of their union later the next evening.



Dal Bhat being prepared the first evening.



Friday morning..the groom prepares to leave to his brides house

The procession of music and guest that accompany the groom



Musicians with their Narsinghas lead procession

Time to cross the river

Wedding Day 2: We woke Friday to a glorious morning. Not much time to lie around though… we were told that everyone (musicians, family and guests) was getting ready to accompany Rajan to his bride’s home. She would be waiting for him there.  The bride’s family, their relatives and friends would welcome Rajan and all of us with a meal. After formalities, dowry discussions and blessings, they would travel to a temple, for a final blessing, then she would say goodbye to her family and travel back to Rajan’s home as his wife. Thinking of a wedding in the traditional sense, Clare and I dressed in our “fancy” attire. I wore my new silk kurta from India with sandals, and Clare had brought a dress from the UK, that she wore with flipflops……No one prepared us for the next 3 hours. We started out along the clay road for a while, singing and dancing with nearby villages coming out to watch our procession. After about 30 minutes, we left the road…..and began the next 2.5 hours of “extreme trekking”. I am not exaggerating….. We had to travel down the mountain on a rocky path, cross the river and then climb up again and into the hills to arrive at the bride’s house. ….no one told us the sandals were not a good idea!

We climb up again from the river

Time for a rest, the brides dress is in the suitcase

What a hot day and what a hike! We finally arrived at the bride’s house after 1:00pm. By now I am drinking any water I can find and have no purifying drops with me… survival of the fittest….I hope I’ve built up some immunity. The appetizers served on this end were 4 slices of apple and four biscuits….then we would be served a feast of…. dal bhat!!! What a contrast to our North American wedding feasts. The meal was served by “holy men“with their hands, and we sat on mats on the ground. Again I requested a spoon and provided entertainment to the crowd as they ate with their hands.

Holy men serving us at bride's home

Notice I am the only one with a spoon

More of the wedding guest

First time the bride and groom are together

Time to start the trek for home

The dishware used is metal and I am guessing it is because it doesn’t break and it has to be carried to an available outdoor water source. After lunch I was invited to go inside and see what was happening with the bride and groom. There seemed to be blessings and dowry talk happening with a few relatives and holy men in the cramped quarters. By now I have figured out that with my Nikon 3100, I am the official photographer at this wedding. Raj is making sure that I am not missing a thing! Finally at 4:00pm, the bride has changed into yet another “red” outfit. This is the official wedding color for brides and female guests at Nepali weddings. This dress was carried in a suitcase from Rajan’s home, over hill and river, by two of his friends. It signifies that as she leaves behind her “first” red dress, (provided by her family) she is leaving behind her life with her family to become Rajan’s wife. At this point, Raj, Clare and I decide to start our trek back to Fujel. Trekking in the dark in sandals didn’t seem like such a good idea…..we arrived home close to 7:00pm.

Yep... Clare is happy to be in a dress and flipflops!

We've crossed the river and climbed again....almost home

Waiting for the bride and groom. they make their trek in the dark with flashlights

The first part this evening now belonged to the women. They sang and danced and prepared the way for the new bride. They were very eager to include Clare and I…..really I think they just want to laugh at our attempts to imitate their dance.  Within a couple of hours we heard the procession and knew the bride and groom were almost back.

Rajan with his new bride (arranged marriage)

Sujan with his new bride (love marriage)

Preparing dal baht...again

They arrived under a red plaid umbrella, that wasn’t lifted until they were inside the jagiya. Then they were taken indoors for more ceremony and to eat and…. we were fed….DAL BHAT. By now Clare and I are making excuses to go to our room so that we can eat some of the snacks we brought. We were both a little tired of the same menu (I don’t know how the Nepalese do it day after day after day). We were told however that tomorrow we were in for a treat. A goat was to be sacrificed in the morning and would be cooked for the official “wedding” meal. YUMMY!! Later in the evening, Sujan and his wife took their place under the red plaid umbrella for a mini sort of “coming out” ceremony. As I mentioned theirs was a love marriage and they had already been together in Kathmandu. Clare and I were glad to exit the festivities’ around midnight. It had been a long full day…and we had chocolate and coconut cookies stashed in our room. The party was still going strong.

Raj preparing us breakfast (thank goodness for eggs and chapatti)

Wedding Day 3: Upon waking, Raj cooked Clare and I eggs and chapatti on a wood fire and then took us for a tour of the preparations. Today was the final day of the wedding, and the family would be serving all the guests the sacrificed mutton and DAL BHAT. It was to be a sit down meal with the grooms and brides finally joining us. In the cooking area there were about 10 men cutting up the mutton.

Cutting up the goat that was sacrificed for this celebration

The women have dressed me in a sari for the occasion

Clare and I are ready for the wedding banquet

Everything but fur went into the pot. There were also holy men present again for preparations and serving. Then it was time to prepare Clare and me for the meal. We were taken to a neighbor’s home and dressed in red sari’s for the event. The Nepalese women were thrilled to see us “in costume” and we were fussed over and admired. It turned out to be a hot day once again. I can’t imagine how women get through menopause and hot flashes in these sari’s so many layers of material!! Finally it was time for the meal and Clare and I were ushered to and placed at the “head mat” with the bride and groom….it seemed not to matter that we didn’t know them two days ago. It really was quite an honor!!!

The "head mat" with the brides and grooms and Clare and me???

Holy men also served here

Raj and Anita...dance after the banquet

Many spectators cheer on the dancers

Anita's grandmother

Clare and I could hardly eat the meal… by now we passed time daydreaming about food we would first eat when we returned to civilization.  After eating there was more dancing this time with the brides and grooms and then family photos were taken by myself, “the renowned wedding photographer from Canada”.

Family photo time

Finally about 4:00pm we returned to our room to eat the remaining snacks we had… and to escape the crowds. It was a great time but exhausting to be the center of atteniton for three days. We both ended up napping and when we got up about 6:00pm the party seemed to be winding down. I think everyone was tired. Raj reassured us that supper was in the making and that the ….DAL BHAT would be ready soon. After supper we said our good nights and prepared for our departure in the morning. We needed to catch the bus at 8am…tomorrow we were going whitewater rafting!!! (Clare talked me into that one….. I should mention that she is 30 years old, a police officer who loves an adrenaline rush!!)

Sunday morning, clear morning with the mountains in the background

Time to catch the bus

Sunday morning: We made it to the bus for 8:00am and had the village send us off. We had a three hour bus ride and then would meet up with “Paddle Nepal” for our day of whitewater rafting down the Trisuli River. This had been on my bucket list a few years ago, but I had pretty much forgotten about it. Now they needed four people to go ahead with the trip. For the most part the ride wasn’t too crazy, but I did manage to get thrown out of the raft once with Clare and Megan from Wales. I thought that the worst was over, but I managed to get thrown into the front seat when we hit one big wave and got hit with a paddle on my cheekbone….Needless to say I have been sporting a black eye this week. It is almost gone and has made for an interesting story.

Getting ready to raft on the Trisuli River

Now, I am counting down. Only four more days until I start my travel back to Canada. I have had an amazing time. I've loved Nepal, and so enjoyed my volunteer work here with a women empowerment project teaching English. I have also worked with a child protection home started for street kids. I have been teaching two little boys English as they won’t be able to start school until April. The children in Nepal are on a semester system and in the middle of exams right now. Karkhe and Sagar are around 5 or 6….no one is really sure, as there is no background information on them. I have been filling in the gap until they can start school. 

I have met wonderful, interesting people in my travels…and have never felt alone. It seems just as one travel companion  leaves my life, a new one comes along. Clare left for the UK on Tuesday, and now I’ve met Taryn. She is from Calgary but is teaching school in Qatar. She came to Nepal over three weeks ago for a week long holiday and had her passport stolen….she is now waiting for new documentation. Today we travelled via local bus to another lake close to Pokhara and then had lunch together. Tomorrow we want to rent Kayaks and get out on Fewa Lake for a while. Raj told me yesterday that he wants to cook me Dal Bhat on my last evening here (oh joy)…. People have been so kind and hospitable. I feel blessed to have had this opportunity, and grateful that I have stayed healthy and had such positive and memorable experiences.

Sunset on Fewa Lake, Pokhara

Namaste, Lynne